Tide

Waking up shaking
and my body has turned fifteen shades
of green, purple, blue, black
everything but the papyrus pale
I should be.

I can't find a comfortable enough spot to sleep
I can't take a shower for fear
of seeing what you've done
all over me.

And you tell me it's not that bad
and you tell me you'd never hut me
and you tell me it's not your fault

I'm here to tell you I spent too much time
curled up on the bathroom floor,
hiding in the back room hoping that you
wouldn't burst through
I'm here to tell you I spent too much time
staring in the mirror and at the razor blades
you left in the sink and hoping that I'd be
strong enough to make it stop.
And when you found me alone, on the bathroom floor
begging for it to all just end,
you say I ruined you that day
that I was crazy.

Did you ever stop to think and say
I can't believe I made baby this way
all the yelling, the chase, the names
I scared you right into my arms.
I'm struggling to get out
I'm struggling to get out
from under your thumb
Why you wanna make leave you this way
you always stop to say
strand you here and leave you with no escape
you need me, you need me, baby.

You'll promise the moon to bring me back
but all I will get
is the tide.